Monday, 23 April 2012

Confused. Sometimes Frustrated

My band is frustrating me at the moment. It seems to have gone into 'too tight' mode again; or at least what I consider to be 'too tight'. It's not so bad that I can't still eat and/or drink. It fact it's not so bad that I can't even do both at the same time (if I'm very careful.) It's just that it feels that I've slipped into that mode of not being able to eat enough of the good foods and therefore I'm supplementing my intake with sliders (mostly in the form of chocolate.)

Is this just wishful thinking: what I'd like to be able to do is eat more of what I consider to be 'proper' food - you know, fruit, veg, meat, everyday foods - in order to get some more nutrients/goodness in my system, and in the hope that it will stop me eating so much crapola. But, is it wishful thinking? If I have a very small unfill, will I eat more good things, or simply eat even more crapola? Dare I take the chance?! The last time I had an unfill, when things had got really, really tight, I went crazy in the eating department and managed to gain 24lbs in about 12 weeks. That. Is. Not. Good.

However, the other thing that is frustrating me is that depsite having good (or is it too much?) restriction, I've only managed to shed 6 of those pesky 24lbs since my fill in January.

So, I can't eat much regular food; I supplement it with bad food; therefore I still consume too many calories; therefore I shed the pounds. What to do?

But in happier news, which makes me wonder if all my moaning above is pointless, when I weighed this morning I did see a new (second time around) low of

13st 10lbs - 192lbs - BMI 31.9

(a total loss so far of 70lbs - 24lbs to go)

And this is what makes me confused. Because right now, having seen this weight, I will think to myself 'Yay, that's the whole point of this band thing - you eat less, you lose some weight', but the next time I'm struggling over a few mouthfuls of something that I really want to be able to enjoy (ie dinner, most nights) I'll be thinking 'Is it worth it? I just want to eat some food and enjoy it'. Gaaaaaaaah!


  1. I know this will probably get some people upset. I will tell you, that looking back on my band since last November at least, I was so tight that I was struggling everyday to eat the things I should be. Solid Protein, vegetables I would PB almost every time I ate them. That is NOT how the band is designed to work. You should be able to eat, and eat healthy foods.

    What you describe is the reason I regained nearly 70+ pounds after 18 months with the band. I was so tight and scared to death to have an unfill that I only ate things that would slide through the band.

    It is scary you are so close to your goal! So I get why you would not want to do anything. I will tell you my surgeon told me that if the band stays too tight too long, it can cause irreperable damage to the esophagus and we only have one. They cannot replace it!!

    I hope it resolves for you soon, and if not get an unfill.


  2. Has is just temporarily tightened up or has it stayed tight for a while? Could it be you've got some post PB swelling and need to give it a chance to subside? Are you eating the chocolate because you can't eat anything else or telling yourself you can't eat anything else so you can eat the chocolate? I love my band but I do wish it came with an anti chocolate and biscuits option.