A little thought snuck into my head that some readers might think that my post yesterday was a little bit down-in-the-dumps or whingey. I just wanted to say that it wasn't meant to sound that way, if anyone did read it like that. It was just a sort of means of saying to myself
'This is where I am, so get used to it or do something about it'
Getting used to weighing just under 14st (somewhere around 194-196lbs) certainly isn't such a bad thing when you consider where I started (18st 10lbs/262lbs); I think it's just that having been as low as 12st 6lbs (174lbs), being a bit heavier is a little disappointing. Although I have to remember that getting down to 174lbs involved eating almost nothing and having constant heartburn for about a month because my band was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too tight. Right now I'm eating regular food in small portions, which is where I want to be because I don't want my little boy looking at me and thinking 'Why doesn't mummy eat anything?' when we sit down to breakfast, lunch or dinner together.
Looking back at my blog to the first time I reached 14st (18 February 2011) I can see how happy I was, so I need to regain some of that feeling and be grateful to have come this far. How can I not be happy at having lost 5st?!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi Justine - just to say I read you regularly and do sympathise, since I'm in the same boat. Except that at nearly 59 the acceptance has come naturally without my hardly being aware of it. I think (and hope) it's because of the distraction factor - there are other things that interest me more these days, such as photography and writing generally, and (amazingly) I seem to be a bit less self-conscious, I don't know why - because it's always been my most compelling and annoying charactertic.
ReplyDeleteYes I want to be slim/mer and I need to try a small unfill to see if eating proper (savoury) meals will stop me filling up on sliders. And it'll do my diabetes a favour too. I'm writing a post about it at the moment.
You HAVE come a long way, no doubt about it!
Caroline
I definitely feel you on this! I think I want to start calculating my weight in stones, it's so much more glamorous and if I could say it in a darling accent like yours, I might not care that I need to lose 2 stone!
ReplyDeleteI didn't get winge. I read it for what you intended i think. Believe me...I had many periods at that point. The cool thing is you can settle for now and change your mind later if you want. I like that about the band. No rush..no hurry..in your own time.
ReplyDeleteEventually I chose little food. It is OK and you get used to it. Some days I get regular meals and some days I am too full for much of anything. I guess I look at this as a more normal way of life for me now. Grace and I have had conversations about it (cause she is old enough). Everyone can use more or less calories to live. We talked about how she is priming her metabolism now and if she stays active she can maintain her body weight with more food than I get...I screwed mine up and now live with the consequences.
Luck!! xxxooo