Finally! And a bit about shopping.

At last! Another pound gone. Quite honestly, I was getting a little bit frustrated since TOMT was preventing me from eating more than a couple of mouthfuls at any meal and I thought the weight would be falling off. But no, it was hanging around like a bad smell until this morning when, at long, long last, the scales rewarded me and my teeny-tiny mouse-sized tummy with a loss - the first for 10 days.

15st 9lb - 219lbs - BMI 36.4
(a total loss so far of 43lbs)

This is a nice loss as it takes me into a new 'decade' in the pounds - I'm in the teens! And I'm also just 5lbs away from losing half of the weight that I want to lose to get to goal (which is a weight I just plucked randomly from the air.)

Moving on.

My clothes are really starting to look big, baggy and sack-like now, but I am loathe to go out and replace everything (much as I really, really want to) for two reasons:

1) I can't afford it

2) I don't know how long the new clothes will fit me and it seems such a waste to buy things that I might only wear for a few weeks/months when usually clothes stay in my wardrobe til they fall apart.

And actually, maybe there's a third reason:

3) My old clothes are almost like comfort blankets, I know I can pull them on and they will fit, they will cover me up and it's just easy.

I have bought a couple of new tops from eBay and one in the sale, but I'm finding it really hard to go into a shop and consider paying full price for something (except for the dress I bought for the wedding in September, but that's different) when I know (or at least hope!) I won't be wearing it for long. Isn't that odd? You'd think, wouldn't you, that going shopping for new clothes would be one of the most exciting parts about losing weight. And, it's not like I'll be able to wear my current clothes for much longer anyway, without risk of exposing myself in public when my trousers fall down, or else just looking like a bag lady with no sense of style/self worth.

The other issue I'm having with clothes (and I'm sure this is going to get worse before it gets better), is that I really have no idea what size I am. As an example, this morning I went to Fat Face and tried on two tops in size 18 which were a little too snug; then over the road to M&Co where I tried two tops in size 16 which fitted fine (but I didn't like them) and a dress in size 20 (fitted well at the bottom, but too big up top); then this afternoon I popped into Evans where I tried on a pair of jeans in size 20 which it would have been indecent for me to wear due to the snugness, and a pair in size 22, also a bit on the tight side. Then I tried on a cardigan in size 20 which was too big and the same in a 16 which was slightly too tight (they didn't have an 18.)

Before I started losing weight I kind of knew where I was - basically I could shop in a handful of shops and know that in one of them (Evans) I was bound to find something that would fit (although not necessarily something I would like) since they go up to at least a size 30; then there would be a few other shops - M&S, Monsoon - in which I could find something that would fit depending on the style/cut. But now? More and more shops are opening up their doors to me and it's SCARY because I don't know what size to pick up, and going into the changing rooms clutching a 16, and 18 and 20 is a bit weird. It's also a bit annoying to be a 16 in one shop, an 18 in another and then find you can't even squeeeeeze into a 20 in another.

Anyhoo, that's enough of my moaning for today, I know I should be grateful I'm getting into smaller clothes but, by golly, it's hard work!