Knickers! Compare and Contrast Photo.

I was sorting through a big bag of clothes the other day and came across a pair of my old, pre-band knickers. OMG, they are HUUUUUUGE. Admittedly, I think I bought these when I was pregnant, but I know for sure that I carried on wearing them a long time after DC was born and up to the day (and probably for a while after) I was banded.

Here they are, underneath a pair of the knickers that I wear these days, for comparison purposes.

Wowzer.

A Little Shout Out to the US Bloggers

I just wanted to send a little shout out to any US bloggers out there who have been affected by Sandy. I hope you and your families and friends are safe and as well as can be expected. I hope things get back to normal as soon as possible for you all.

My family and I will be travelling to Orlando and then on to NYC later this month, so I expect we'll see some of the after-effects for ourselves when we touch down in NY.

Long Time, No Post.

Still here, still plodding along but, as with lots of us longer-term bandsters, the band/weight stuff doesn't occupy my mind quite so much as it once did, hence the lack of blog posts. But I do keep my other blog up-to-date on an almost daily basis, if you feel the need to keep up with my non-weightloss life!

However, that's not to say I'm not still weighing myself most days! And, finally, the scales have moved down a notch to

14st 1lbs - 197lbs - BMI 32.8

(a total loss so far of 65lbs - 29lbs to go)

It feels that recently, and finally, my eating has become less erratic and more meal-based, if that makes sense. I'm eating more at meal times and less in between and I'm assuming that this is what's facilitated the 1lb loss. Just need to keep it up and watch those pounds melt away...

Hope you are all well out there in bandland!

B00Bs Meet in London!

Well, guess who I met up with in London this weekend?

Beth!

(who, in case you didn't know [what planet are you living on?!?], is over here for the Olympics)

Yay!

Here we are, looking like we're in prison... But we'd actually just enjoyed a lovely lunch together (with my hubby, too) in a great deli/cafe in Marylebone called The Natural Kitchen (we all had salad, in case you were wondering, and I had to take most of mine away since the portions were sooooo huge.)

And guess what Beth brought all the way from the US of A for me? Something healthy? Something diet-licious? Ha! As if I'd request something like that. Nope, Beth brought me...

REESES!!

There aren't many left now...

And after hubby and I said a fond farewell to Beth, we headed for the Olympic Park. Oh yes, we had tickets for what the British media has named 'Super Saturday' - the day in which Team GB won plenty of gold medals; and we were there to see three of them in the Stadium that evening.

Look, that's me and the cauldron/Olympic flame. Which one of us is the hottest? Ha!

The stadium. Obviously.

Lots of people (me included) getting VERY excited because Mo Farah was about to win the third gold of the evening for Team GB. Woop woop! The noise in the stadium was immense.

All in all, a brilliant day!

One Pound Down

TOTM has arrived and with it a 1lb weightloss, thank goodness. So that takes me back down to 14st 2lbs (198lbs)' and 1pm away from my "freakout" weight. Sarah asked after my last post whether I count calories. The answer is no, I don't. In all honesty, I'm not doing anything to warrant losing weight. So, that is why I'm not losing any. I know that, but it doesnt stop me complaining about it! Actually, it's not so much complaining as wondering. I just wonder why it is that previously it was "easy" to lose weight with the band, but now it's not easy. Previously, my band did ALL of the work and I sat back and went along for the ride. So why can't it be like at now?! Why do I have to join in?! No, I'm kidding. I know the band is definitely doing a lot of the work, but I need to pull my weight too, don't I? I can talk the talk, but can I walk the walk?

Will Being 'Accountable' Help?

Will it help me to shed a few pounds if I stay accountable on my blog? Well, anything's worth a try, isn't it? So, here goes. Today my weight is back up to the FREAKOUT weight of

14st 03lbs - 199lbs - BMI 33.1

(a total loss so far of 63lbs - 31lbs to go)

 

Looking back through my blog I see it was 19th of January 2011 when I first got to onederland, so that means this is the heaviest I've been in over 18 months. Crapsticks.

 

When I've finished licking the bowl from the cakes I've just made with my darling boy, I really must get back on the band wagon...

My "Freakout" Weight (Trade Mark Amy's Heather)

So, I was reading this post by Amy Sunkist a couple of days ago and it really struck a chord as just a couple of days earlier I had seen what Amy's Heather describes as my "freakout" weight. When the scales blinked back at me with 14st 3lbs (199lbs), I said to myself "Right, that's it, it doesn't go any higher than this." And, as it happens it hasn't gone any higher, in fact I've managed to nudge my weight back to 14st 2lbs (198lbs). But still, things are not all good in the 'hood, because teetering on the brink of 'onederland' the wrong way is not the place I want to be!

Since my unfill at the end of June I've gained about 4lbs, which isn't so dreaful, but when you consider that just before B00Bs 2011 I weighed 12st 6lbs (174lbs), then I'm currently 24lbs over my lowest ever weight and that is a bit more on the side of dreadful than I'd like it to be. Admittedly, that lowest ever weight only came about because my band was ridiculously tight and I was surviving on crackers and coffee, but 24lbs is a considerable amount to have packed back on in 10 months.

Although I loved being 12st 6lbs - my UK size 16 (US size 12) clothes fitted really nicely and I felt very happy (I might even say a tad smug) with my weightloss - I don't desparately want to be back at that weight. But I really would like to get down to about 13-and-a-half stone (189lbs), so that's the goal I've decided to set myself, which means I'd like to lose 9lbs. In the grand scheme of things it shouldn't be too difficult, but then that 'grand scheme' doesn't involve self-sabotage on a daily basis with biscuits, chocolate and cakes.

Why is it that losing weight now is so difficult? I was thinking about it yesterday in terms of the alphabet. Let's say we call my starting weight (262lbs) 'A', and we call my lowest weight (174lbs) 'Z', and we call my current weight somewhere in the region of 'R'; why is it that the downward journey from A - Z was relatively straightforward the first time round? In all honesty, the weight came off with very little input from me - no watching what I was eating, no exercise. Then I hit 'Z' and had to have an unfill because the band was making life difficult/uncomfortable/not healthy. And then I bounced back up to 'T' and I stuck around there for a while and then the band became uncomfortable again and another unfill has left me at 'R'. But why is that? Why did I not stay around 'X', or 'Y'? I wouldn't have expected to stay at 'Z' after my initial unfill because I was eating so little at that point that any extra food would have translated to extra lbs. But why is it that with the band at a good level of restriction, I'm not gliding through the letters on my way to 'Z' like I did the first time round?

I was talking to a non-banded friend about this and she pointed out to me the obvious fact that as we lose weight our bodies become used to being that lower weight and in order to maintain that weight we need fewer calories and/or more exercise. Unfortunately my brain has yet to catch up with the fact that I need fewer and fewer calories and my hands/mouth don't help either... Not to mention the fact that I am LAZY with a capital LAZY and the thought of exercising brings me out in hives.

I know I'm not the only one who is struggling with this at the moment, which makes me feel a bit better (not because others are suffering, but because it means I'm not rowing this boat on my own.) And, it's interesting that several bandsters are considering having/have had the sleeve or bypass. I've not considered either of these options (yet), but I wonder what I would/will do if I feel that the band is no longer the tool that I need/hope/want it to be? I think that pre-banding I expected to be 'cured' from my addiciton to food once the band was in place (as if by magic), but clearly that hasn't happened yet and may indeed never happen, so I can completely understand why bandsters never want their band removed or chose to have other weightloss surgery after the band.

I've just come across this article (in a newspaper I would never chose to read, admittedly) which has some interesting points/quotes such as

‘In a way, losing the weight is the easy part, it’s changing your lifestyle and keeping it off that’s hard.’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2174497/How-gastric-surgery-patients-ALL-weight-on.html?ITO=1490
 
This post has been a bit of a ramble, but I'm sure most of you know where I'm coming from, and I just wanted to blog so that you know I'm still here, still writing occasionally and still reading your blogs whenever I can. Onwards and downwards, my banded chums.

Unfill. Now That Feels Better!

Woot woot! Last Wednesday I finally got my unfill. My surgeon took out 0.25mls; it made a difference straight away and I feel sooooo much better! I can eat more, but not too much, so it feels a little bit like I'm back at my sweet spot (obviously now I've said that, I'll have totally jinxed it.) I can eat 'regular' food again and it feels so liberating. I'm enjoying the whole 'what shall I have for lunch today?' thing, instead of the 'I wonder if I can manage a cracker today?' thing.

On the negative side, I've put on 4lbs (so I'm back up to 14st 1lb/197lbs) but I expect that's a combination of some over-eating on my part (due to the novelty of it all!) and my body grabbing on to all the calories I'm putting in because it's worried I'll be starving it again soon. But 4lbs is worth it for the ability to eat regular food again.

In other news, I just booked us (me, hubby, small child and my mum) flights to Orlando and New York City for November/December this year! Disney here we come! Shopping in NYC here we come! We'll be in NYC for my birthday, which makes me very, very happy! I'm going to have to plan an entire day of fabulousness, starting with pancakes and maple syrup for breakfast and ending with dinner somewhere wonderful (oh, did that sound like my day was going to revolve around food?!)

A Fabulous Support System

It's been said numerous times before, but it's worth mentioning again - what a fantastic support system this community of banded bloggers is. We offer each other words of wisdom, words of encouragement, words of support and understanding. It's good to know that there are others who know what we are all going through - whether it's good stuff (NSVs, dropping a dress size, reaching goal, and non-band stuff like new babies, weddings, etc), or not so good stuff (band issues, life issues, issues about issues.)

So, thank you once again for your words of support about my too-tight band. At least I've been here before with the same issue so I know that an unfill will (should?!) do the trick; and due to having the same issue before I have at least been able to come to the conclusion that the unfill is needed much sooner than I did last time!

Just one week to go til my surgeon appointment; there's light at the end of the tunnel!

Thank You For Your Comments

Thanks to my fellow bandsters for your comments on my previous post. Your thoughts on how to know what is enough or too much food for a bandster to eat are running through my head. But, without trying to make excuses, I really do feel like I'm not able to eat enough; it doesnt seem to matter what I try - pasta, omelette, fish, crackers, cheese, ham - after just a couple of mouthfuls I'm full and/or (very) uncomfortable. I really think I should be able to eat more than two mouthfuls for at least three reasons: 1) I need my little boy to see me eat a sensible amount of food, without having to get up from the table to walk around and help the food go down or dash off to the bathroom. I want him to see me enjoy food rather than being stressed over it; I don't want him to think that Mummy has issues around food. 2) I need to eat more 'proper' food from a nutrition aspect. My gums are starting to recede and my hair is getting thin. These things could be coincidental, or they could be a result of my poor diet. 3) I want and need to be able to enjoy food again. For my own sanity. I want to know when I sit down to a meal at home or in a restaurant that I'm going to be able to eat a sensible (bandster) size portion. I am also suffering from heartburn and I know that's definitely not right. So, it's time for an unfill. Maybe 0.25mls, maybe 0.5mls. And then I'll have to see where things go.

Me vs The Band; Me vs Food

That's how it feels at the moment; I'm either battling the band, or I'm battling food. Whichever it is, I'm not happy or comfortable and I've booked an appointment with my surgeon for an unfill.

It's been just over a year now since I was at a good level of restriction; since then I've had a 2ml unfill and two 0.5ml fills. After the 2ml unfill (the day before B00Bs 2011) I felt immediate relief from the tightness I'd been putting up with/had grown accustomed to and I ate and ate like it was going out of fashion (and boy, did I enjoy it!) Obviously I then needed a fill (or two) to bring me back in line and I thought I'd got there, but in the last couple of months (possibly more because, yet again, I've been putting up with it) the band has got tight again, the heartburn is back and I'm PBing too much. What seems to happen with me as far as fills go is that they can take weeks, if not months, to actually take effect; so really what I need is a fill that initially feels too loose, but which can then tighten up to a good level of restriction over time. Or at least I hope that's what will happen.

I used to love food. Well, that's an obvious statement. I wouldn't have got to 18st 10lbs (262lbs) if I didn't love food. And I still want to love food, but at the moment I just can't enjoy 'proper' food or look forward to enjoying a 'proper' meal. My thoughts are always 'Will I be able to eat it?'; 'How many mouthfuls before I get uncomfortable?'; 'What will I have to do to make things comfortable? walk around, PB, stop after just two bites?' I can't enjoy going out for a meal as I'm too busy worrying about whether there will be anything I can eat on the menu, whether I'll be able to make an excuse mid-meal to go to the bathroom, whether I'll look odd just eating a couple of bites.

I need to start eating proper food again; right now given the choice between a couple of mouthfuls of proper food and the risk of PBing, or eating chocolate/biscuits or some other slider food, I'm taking the easy route and heading straight for the slider foods. Hence, even though I'm too tight I'm not actually losing any weight. I still hover between 13st 11lbs and 13st 13lbs (that's a loss of 3-5lbs from the highest weight I reached after having the big unfill.) Just goes to show that being too tight is about as useful as being too loose when it comes to the band.

It's never easy is it? Seems that lots of us bandsters who are 2-3 years out are suffering in one way or another. Let's hope things get sorted for all of us, one way or another.

Off on holiday

We're off on a family holiday tomorrow to Spain.

Looking forward to a holiday in the sun where I won't feel uncomfortable in the heat (I hope!) I even bought some new holiday clothes, which is virtually unheard of - a strapless dress and some three-quarter length trousers - get me!

I still haven't got round to booking an unfill, but I think I probably will when I get back from my hols. I've got nothing to lose (if you'll pardon the pun); my weight is pretty static - hovering around the 13st 11lbs (193lbs) mark - even though I'm not eating all that much. Perhaps I need to be able to eat more (more good stuff that is), in order to kick start the weightloss again.

Hope you are all well out there in banded blogland; I don't write much on this blog these days as there's so little to say, but I do keep up with you all. My other blog is updated almost daily though since 'real' life carries on apace!

Found Some of My Pre-Weight Loss Trousers...

...and slipped them on. Literally. Didn't need to undo the button/zip. Just slipped them up over my hips. And then had to hang on to them for dear life so as not to scare any small children in the area (aka my darling son who happened to be in the room and said something extreeeeemly sweet [considering he's only three years old] 'Mummy, those are too big'. Good boy; you're a keeper.)

I wanted to take some photos to share with you but since the small boy was in the room I only got the chance to snap two very quickly, and in the second one of those you can see he's hanging on to/pulling my hand, hence the blurry shot (and was saying, in that way that children do, 'Mummy, come downstairs with me, pleeeeeeease'). Anyhoo, I think these two quick shots give you some idea of what has happened in the two-plus years since I had to wear these trousers - 5 stone (70lbs) and five dress sizes to be precise. Yeeeee-haw.

Bank Holiday Musings

It's a Bank Holiday here in the UK today; so we get to enjoy a three-day weekend as we celebrate May Day. As usual the weather is, let's say, unpredictable. This morning it was raining; now we have lovely warm sun, tempered by gusts of wind.

Anyway, on to my musings. I'm still debating whether to get an small unfill.
Reasons to get an unfil:
1) The heartburn still keeps getting me; it's unexpected and unpredictable. I had it quite a bit yesterday (not enough to need any medication, but enough to know it was there and for it to be annoying); other days I get none.
2) Sometimes I struggle to eat regular food; or enough regular food to consititute a meal that will keep me full for several hours
3) As a result of 2) I turn to snacking on crapola
4) Snacking on crapola is becoming a bad habit

Reasons to not get an unfill:
1) There are some days when I can eat a lot. For instance, on Friday evening we went out for a meal with friends and I ate Thai chicken broth for starter; a large piece of salmon with broccoli and a haddock/potato brandade (ie deep fried ball of fish and potato!) for main course; and a Banoffee Eton Mess for dessert. Yep, three courses. All washed down with half a bottle of wine. I was amazed.
2) I'm worried that my habit of snacking on crapola will continue alongside being able to eat more if I get an unfill.
3) If no. 2) goes on too long I'll put on weight.

Where has the lovely 'green spot' gone? I'm sure I got it about a year ago, then the band went all tight on me and since then I just can't seem to get things right. Bum-diddly-bum.

Busted! And thank you to Sarah.

Those of you who are "friends" with me on FaceB00k will have seen this already, but I want to share it here too. It's a little conversation I had with my darling boy (aged 3 years and 1 month); it went like this

Arthur: 'I want a Mummy biscuit.'
Me: 'What's a Mummy biscuit?'
Arthur: 'It's got chocolate on it.'

Totally busted.

(But don't lecture me on setting a bad example to my child. No doubt there are plenty of other things I do that are even worse and he's destined to be a chocolate-eating sociopath/psycopath with no teeth.)

And talking of being busted, here's a very pertinent comment that Sarah left after my last post where I moaned about not being able to eat (enough) 'proper' food and turning to sliders (ie chocolate) instead:

"Are you eating the chocolate because you can't eat anything else or telling yourself you can't eat anything else so you can eat the chocolate?"

And, do you know what, that hadn't even occured to me. Talk about a lightbulb moment. Ever since I read Sarah's comment I've been making much more of an effort to eat 'proper' food, and actually think about what/how I'm eating rather than simply turning to the chocolate because I expect to have an issue and therefore think it's not even worth trying. And as a result, I ate some fish for dinner on Monday evening, 3/4 of a cheese sandwich for lunch yesterday, and half a pepper, cheese, ham and onion omelette for dinner last night. And I ate a LOT less chocolate as a result.

Sometimes I wonder about where my band brain has gone!

Confused. Sometimes Frustrated

My band is frustrating me at the moment. It seems to have gone into 'too tight' mode again; or at least what I consider to be 'too tight'. It's not so bad that I can't still eat and/or drink. It fact it's not so bad that I can't even do both at the same time (if I'm very careful.) It's just that it feels that I've slipped into that mode of not being able to eat enough of the good foods and therefore I'm supplementing my intake with sliders (mostly in the form of chocolate.)

Is this just wishful thinking: what I'd like to be able to do is eat more of what I consider to be 'proper' food - you know, fruit, veg, meat, everyday foods - in order to get some more nutrients/goodness in my system, and in the hope that it will stop me eating so much crapola. But, is it wishful thinking? If I have a very small unfill, will I eat more good things, or simply eat even more crapola? Dare I take the chance?! The last time I had an unfill, when things had got really, really tight, I went crazy in the eating department and managed to gain 24lbs in about 12 weeks. That. Is. Not. Good.

However, the other thing that is frustrating me is that depsite having good (or is it too much?) restriction, I've only managed to shed 6 of those pesky 24lbs since my fill in January.

So, I can't eat much regular food; I supplement it with bad food; therefore I still consume too many calories; therefore I shed the pounds. What to do?

But in happier news, which makes me wonder if all my moaning above is pointless, when I weighed this morning I did see a new (second time around) low of

13st 10lbs - 192lbs - BMI 31.9

(a total loss so far of 70lbs - 24lbs to go)

And this is what makes me confused. Because right now, having seen this weight, I will think to myself 'Yay, that's the whole point of this band thing - you eat less, you lose some weight', but the next time I'm struggling over a few mouthfuls of something that I really want to be able to enjoy (ie dinner, most nights) I'll be thinking 'Is it worth it? I just want to eat some food and enjoy it'. Gaaaaaaaah!

Woop Woop! And Tina is a Genius.

At last, at last, at last, at last. Another 1lb gone.

13st 11lbs - 193lbs - BMI 32.1
(a total loss so far of 69lbs - 25lbs to go)

I think what may have helped is cutting down on the coffee. I've gone down from three or four mugs a day to one or two. It's not that my coffee itself was loaded with calories, since I only drink it with the addition of a little skimmed milk, but what was going on alongside the coffee - ie, the biscuit-shaped accompaniment to that steaming hot mug of Joe. It is nigh-on impossible to drink a cup of coffee without eating a biscuit (or three, or perhaps enjoying a slice of cake or some chocolate) at the same time, isn't it? Or is that just me?! Anyway, I'm wondering if cutting down on this little habit of coffee + sweet snack is what has helped with finally shifting another pound?

Tina over at Losing It actually made this suggestion to me in a comment on one of my previous posts where I talked about coming to terms with staying at (or around) this weight and being satisfied with it. She mentioned that perhaps I could just change one little thing and see what happened - here's part of what she said:

"What is one thing you can change tomorrow? You don't have to give the cookies, cakes or coffee up yet..just cut back one this next week-one cookie less per day or one coffee less or one walk more..something like that. Give it a week and see if it helps."

Tina, you are a genius!

(And, believe it or not, the heartburn helped too, or else I might never have been moved to cut down on the coffee. Perhaps it was a sign from the Band Gods.)

Not So Bad

It seems cutting back on the old coffee-ola seems to have done the trick with subduing the heartburn (touch wood.) After Alison commented that strong coffee but not lattes give her heartburn I decided to make my coffee with a slightly smaller scoop than usual (rather than the Mt Everest style heap I usually throw in the cafetiere) and add more milk. So far, so good. Phew; I'm very glad, cos giving up the old Java Joe would have made me v. sad.

In other news, the pesky scales are still stuck on 13st 13lbs or 13st 12lbs. Ho hum. Still, as hubby pointed out at least I'm able to sit with him and Arthur and eat breakfast, lunch and dinner (albeit small portions) which I really struggled to do when my band had got super tight. You win some, you lose some (or don't lose some)!

Hope you are all keeping well out there in Banded Blog Land. I read Steph's post about how so many of us are falling of the blogwagon - perhaps it's difficult when we are this far into the journey to be blogging 'I lost a pound, I put it back on, I stayed the same' whereas previously it might have been 'yaaay, my new lowest low' or 'NSV' or 'I reached goal' on an almost daily basis. I also sometimes feel that I'm under pressure to blog for fear of falling out of the blog loop, or being forgotten about; I don't want either of those things to happen, but I also don't want the blog to feel like a millstone round my neck whereby I feel guilty if I haven't updated in a while. I also have another blog (which I'd started waaaay before the band blog) which I have to update so that keeps me blogging busy. It's tricky, and I sure don't have the answer.

Heartburn Heartbreak

A little update on the heartburn situation; it would seem that coffee is the culprit (although there may be other things that will set it off that I've not yet identified). And that is more than a little heartbreaking. I LOVE my coffee, and usually drink 3 or 4 large cups a day. I get all excited when I see Starbucks and really enjoy sipping on a caramel mocha. So, I've cut my coffee consumption to one mug a day, and that is generally sipped slowly over the course of the morning (with many visits to the microwave to reheat it in between - nice...)

So, I'm going to give it a little longer and if things don't improve then I guess I'll be heading back to the surgeon for a(nother) little unfill. Bah.

Heartburn

I seem to be suffering from heartburn, again. The last time I had this was back in August/September last year when my band was really much too tight. Then I had the unfill from heaven, the day before B00Bs, and all was good in the world. Since that unfill I've had two 0.5ml top-ups, which has taken me to 8mls in a 10ml band. That's still 1ml lower than where I was in August/Sept when the terrible heartburn started plaguing me.

Anyway, what I wanted to ask was - if you are banded and you get heartburn, is it right to assume that it is caused by the band? Does anyone else who believes their band to be at a good level of fill (ie not too tight) suffer from heartburn?

I know coffee can be a trigger, but I'm not sure I can give it up. (And don't ask me to give up the chocolate either...)

Just to Confirm

A little thought snuck into my head that some readers might think that my post yesterday was a little bit down-in-the-dumps or whingey. I just wanted to say that it wasn't meant to sound that way, if anyone did read it like that. It was just a sort of means of saying to myself

'This is where I am, so get used to it or do something about it'

Getting used to weighing just under 14st (somewhere around 194-196lbs) certainly isn't such a bad thing when you consider where I started (18st 10lbs/262lbs); I think it's just that having been as low as 12st 6lbs (174lbs), being a bit heavier is a little disappointing. Although I have to remember that getting down to 174lbs involved eating almost nothing and having constant heartburn for about a month because my band was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too tight. Right now I'm eating regular food in small portions, which is where I want to be because I don't want my little boy looking at me and thinking 'Why doesn't mummy eat anything?' when we sit down to breakfast, lunch or dinner together.

Looking back at my blog to the first time I reached 14st (18 February 2011) I can see how happy I was, so I need to regain some of that feeling and be grateful to have come this far. How can I not be happy at having lost 5st?!

Resigned

I've decided that I just have to resign myself to being this weight. If I'm not willing to actually work at being a lower weight, then I have to accept that this is the weight I will stay. Instead of blaming the band for not doing the (rest of) the hard work for me, and huffing and puffing every time I step on the scales, I have to say:

'Self, if you're going to carry on eating chocolates, biscuits and cakes and not doing any exercise, then you will have to get used to being this weight. Self, you can't expect the band to do anything more if you're not going to help. Self, the band enabled you to lose 5 stone (70lbs) without your help; the band did all of the work. Self, now it is your turn to either a) join in or b) quit moaning.'

There we have it. Self, get on with it.

Still Here, Plodding Along (with a couple of photos)

But still not losing any weight. GRRR! I know it's TOTM, so that usually puts the kibosh on any weightloss hopes, but really? Still nothing. Yesterday morning I weighed in at 13st 13lbs. Blah blah and blahdy blah. Two fills and no weightloss. Still, I've taken a positive step in the battle to shed the pounds - I've started eating a 'proper' breakfast. For a while now, I'm ashamed to admit, my breakfast has consisted of a mug of coffee, and then an hour or so later another mug of coffee and two (sometimes three, and sometimes even four) biscuits (ie cookies). Isn't that awful? Everyone knows that eating a good breakfast sets you up for the day. But knowing these things is one thing (those of us who are banded knew we shouldn't have been eating all those calories that got us to needing the band in the first place, but we didn't/couldn't stop); putting them into practice is quite another matter all together. Still, for the last three mornings I have dutifully sat down with hubby and small boy and eaten a bowl of cereal, as hubby tucks into his Shreddies and small boy tucks into one, two, three, sometimes four bowls of Cheerios. He lives by the motto: eat breakfast like a king, eat lunch like a prince, dine like a pauper (I'm constantly trying to persuade him to eat 'just one more mouthful' at dinner time and he simply isn't interested, he can quite happily munch on just breadsticks and cream cheese.)

Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, finally breakfasting like a king (or queen). And for the last three mornings I've definitely noticed a difference in my eating habits - ie I'm not looking for snacks, and I'm lasting through til lunchtime. Give that girl a gold star, it's only taken her several months to work it out.

And on an entirely different note: B00Bs 3.0. I do so hope I can make it again this year!

And on another completely different note, I thought I'd share some photos with you of a little family outing we took on Saturday to the fishing village of Beer in Devon and the town of Lyme Regis in Dorset - we're very lucky to have them both about a 40minute drive away from where we live. The sun was shining and it really was a lovely day out. And I might have had a little ice cream. Just a little one... A PB&J sundae - how could I resist? And still I wonder why those pesky pounds aren't falling off me?!

Finally!

Today finally brought a small shift downwards on the scales

13st 12lbs - 194lbs - BMI 32.3

(a total loss so far of 68lbs - 26lbs to go)

Apologies yet again for my blogging absence and the short posts when I do finally get round to writing something. I just don't know where Old Father Time is going at the moment, he sure is slipping through my fingers at an astonishing rate. Rest assured, I'm here and I'm reading as many of your blogs as I can; I'm just not writing much, or losing much! :(

Zip, zero, nada

Absolutely nothing to report here. Despite the fill and the fact that I'm eating considerably less than I did over the previous 3 months, I havent lost any weight. I'm still bouncing around between 13st 13lbs and 14st 1lb. It's kind of disheartening really, although I suppose I should be grateful that the weight isn't going up which it undoubtedly would have been if I hadn't had the fill(s).

I'm not blogging much on here because I just don't have that much to say that seems relevant to a band blog, it's just the same old, same old round these parts! I'm keeping my other blog much more up to date since things seem to actually happen in other aspects of my life!

Rest assured, I'm still reading other bandster blogs (especially those of my fellow B00Bs), although time isnt usually on my side, hence my lack of comments.. But I'm still here and still checking you all out!

Spoke Too Soon

Looks like the scale gods are punishing me for getting cocky about the weightloss. Yesterday I'd shot back up to 14st 1lb (2lbs overnight - way to go); today I'm down to 14st. Blah.

I think TOTM is round the corner (I'm terrible at remembering when it's due), but I'm also wondering if there's some sort of panic station starvation mode thing going on. Clearly my body (and my brain) had got used to the levels of gorging on all sorts of everything I was doing while the band and I took an extended break from reality. And now things are getting back on track and the quantities I'm consuming have dropped quite drastically, perhaps my body is clinging on to everything it can get. Well, that's my excuse.

Progress

Interesting that I'm back to blogging since my last fill seems to have been a success. Does this make me a fair-weather blogger? Probably; and that's not really a good thing, is it? I should blog the bad as well as the good or else this blog isn't a fair representation of the truth of living with a band. That's not to say I totally shied away from blogging as my weight went up; I have been truthful about it and documented it, but I just didn't document it as regularly, in as much detail, or as joyfully as I documented the weightloss.

Today the scales finally showed me the reward of not eating half as much as I was before this latest top-up, with a loss of 2lbs, thank you very much.

13st 13lbs - 195lbs - BMI 32.4
(a total loss so far of 67lbs - 27lbs to go)

This is a nice figure as it takes me back into the '13st-something' bracket, rather than bouncing around in the low 14s.

Sweet Spot Regained?

Not wanting to curse myself, but I'm really hoping that the fill I had on Wednesday (taking me back to 8mls in a 10ml band) might see me back at my sweet spot. Since my much-needed unfill at the end of September I've managed to pack on the pounds due to major over-eating (mostly of chocolates, biscuits and puddings, not to mention much larger portions of pretty much everything else.)

On the day of my fill I weighed 14st 2lbs (198lbs); on Friday morning I'd lost one of those pounds but that seems to be it - I thought I'd have lost at least another one by now, but perhaps my body is determined to hang on to the lovely fat/sugar-laden pounds that I have so kindly gifted it since September 2011.

Anyway, I'm now back to weighing myself regularly - something that had tailed off quite significantly when I knew the scale was creeping upwards. So, here we are, my weight today:

14st 1lb - 197lbs - BMI 32.8

(a total loss so far of 65lbs - 29lbs to go)

Yep, it's a gain and it's a step backwards along the weightloss path (right back to February 4 2011 - nearly an entire year's worth of weightloss undone) but I just have to look at how much I have lost (65lbs) and look at photos of me from a couple of years back to see just how far I've come. Which reminds me - I managed to miss my two year blogiversary; I actually spent the day/weekend celebrating hubby's 40th birthday by eating, sleeping, drinking and eating more at Burgh Island. Ho hum!

Aches and Pains

What a strange coincidence that my post un-fill weight gain has affected my blogging! I seem not to want to document the weight going up quite as much as I wanted to document it going down. I wonder why?! I'm now hovering around the 14stone mark - somedays I see 13st 12lbs, and once last week I even saw 14st 2lbs. Ouch. It's very disappointing because if I take the average and say my weight is 14st (196lbs), then it has taken me just 3.5months to gain the amount of weight that it took me seven months to lose. I was very excited back on 19 February 2011 to report that I'd lost 66lbs and was down to 14st (196lbs); now I'm not at all excited to be reporting that I've gained 1st 8lbs (22lbs) from my lowest low of 12st 6lbs on 23 September 2011 to be back at 14st. So, it takes twice as long to lose weight as it does to gain it. That's a scientific fact, as proven by this experiment featuring me!

However, it's only just over one week til I make a return visit to my surgeon for another top-up. The 0.5mls I had put in last time (14 December) hasn't made much difference, so I think another 0.5mls (which will take me to 8mls in a 10ml band) is in order. When I went for my unfill I had 9mls in there, so I'm still going to be 1ml short of the amount that ended up causing me so much bother (ie hardly eating anything, acid reflux, etc) so hopefully this will see me back at my sweet spot. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, back to the title of this post - aches and pains. When I was making my descent down the slopes of Mt Weight I couldn't tell you at what point my back stopped aching or my knees stopped creaking when I walked up the stairs. But now that I have been making my not-so-slow ascent of Mt Weight, I can pinpoint the exact pound at which the aches and pains returned - 13st 10lbs (192lbs). Interesting, eh? At least now I know where I need to get to, to(hopefully) return to a backache free zone.

Did anyone else ever note/notice the weight at which certain ailments ceased to bother them? At my highest weight I think I just pretty much took for granted the daily backache, knee creaks, tiredness, lethargy. But now they are much more bothersome as I was so used to not having to deal with them. Here's looking forward to a fill which will hopefully help sort my band (and my head) and help a few of those pesky pounds disappear again.